Jeremy and I are still deciding whether or not to publish the post I wrote about finding out Sasha 3.0's gender, way back in April when I was 15 weeks. For now, I'm giving you a post I wrote on 10 April 2013, when I was almost 16 weeks, about telling my boss the pregnancy news.
On Sunday, I finally told my boss that I'm pregnant, and due in September, which means I can't teach during the Fall 2013 semester. I am almost 16 weeks now, but I've put it off this long because I found the task terrifying. For starters, I'm part-time, which means that I'm under no obligation to tell them anything about my future availability for work, since they are under no obligation to re-hire me each semester. But there was a building expectation in the department - and a possibility in my own mind - that I would eventually move to a full-time position. Telling my boss I was pregnant felt a little bit like sending a message that work is not that important to me and that an application to a full-time position will not be happening anytime soon.
In reality, of course, it's a much more nuanced message and a more complicated decision, one that I haven't quite made yet and might not make for many months. The semester-based schedule of academia makes it hard to jump in and out of work for time-indefinite events like pregnancy, so at this point, I've just made a mental note to reconsider the decision to go back to work sometime in January 2014. Assuming of course, that there is an offer of work in place, because there may not be (see part-time status, above). I love my job and I'm afraid to let it go, even out of necessity. That's why it was so terrifying to tell my boss.
(So why did I tell, you might ask, if I was still able to physically hide my condition? Because I had to tell my spinning instructor a few weeks ago due to very real concerns about high-intensity exercise during pregnancy, and I knew it was only a matter of time before news got around. The only thing worse than having to tell my boss myself would be having her hear it from someone else.)
For now, though, my students still don't know. I might tell them tomorrow. I might put it off a little longer. It's funny to me that I stand in front of them for six hours a week and no one has noticed my growing midsection yet. (Well, they might have noticed, but they probably just think I'm getting fat.) The act of telling my students will be easier than telling my boss, and the ramifications are fewer because I say goodbye to them in a few months, but the time period between now and then will be the hardest. Once I tell them, I will no longer be just a person to them. I'll be a woman who is expecting a baby, along with all the cultural and experiential baggage that goes along with that. I'll also have to deal with my changing body shape in front of 30+ young adults.
Yeah, not really looking forward to that.
On Sunday, I finally told my boss that I'm pregnant, and due in September, which means I can't teach during the Fall 2013 semester. I am almost 16 weeks now, but I've put it off this long because I found the task terrifying. For starters, I'm part-time, which means that I'm under no obligation to tell them anything about my future availability for work, since they are under no obligation to re-hire me each semester. But there was a building expectation in the department - and a possibility in my own mind - that I would eventually move to a full-time position. Telling my boss I was pregnant felt a little bit like sending a message that work is not that important to me and that an application to a full-time position will not be happening anytime soon.
In reality, of course, it's a much more nuanced message and a more complicated decision, one that I haven't quite made yet and might not make for many months. The semester-based schedule of academia makes it hard to jump in and out of work for time-indefinite events like pregnancy, so at this point, I've just made a mental note to reconsider the decision to go back to work sometime in January 2014. Assuming of course, that there is an offer of work in place, because there may not be (see part-time status, above). I love my job and I'm afraid to let it go, even out of necessity. That's why it was so terrifying to tell my boss.
(So why did I tell, you might ask, if I was still able to physically hide my condition? Because I had to tell my spinning instructor a few weeks ago due to very real concerns about high-intensity exercise during pregnancy, and I knew it was only a matter of time before news got around. The only thing worse than having to tell my boss myself would be having her hear it from someone else.)
For now, though, my students still don't know. I might tell them tomorrow. I might put it off a little longer. It's funny to me that I stand in front of them for six hours a week and no one has noticed my growing midsection yet. (Well, they might have noticed, but they probably just think I'm getting fat.) The act of telling my students will be easier than telling my boss, and the ramifications are fewer because I say goodbye to them in a few months, but the time period between now and then will be the hardest. Once I tell them, I will no longer be just a person to them. I'll be a woman who is expecting a baby, along with all the cultural and experiential baggage that goes along with that. I'll also have to deal with my changing body shape in front of 30+ young adults.
Yeah, not really looking forward to that.