Morjes!

Welcome to my blog. I write about fitting in, sticking out, and missing the motherland as a serial foreigner.

Feeling like Henry VIII

Feeling like Henry VIII

You know how Henry VIII injured his leg while jousting in the prime of his life and then it only ever semi-healed and just kind of oozed and ached off and on for 20 years until he died? Or something like that. I feel a little bit like Henry VIII. I suffered a bad running injury to my right femur (!) in November of 2016 (!) and it has just...never healed. It doesn't ooze, granted, but it aches with pain fairly frequently.

The doctor and an MRI said it was a stress fracture, so I took time off running and was even on crutches for a month so it could heal. This was devastating for me because running was my primary exercise outlet and I was also in the best running shape of my adult life, getting closer to my competitive high school PRs than ever before. It felt like such a waste to have to stop and let all that go.

After a few months, the doctor and an MRI said my femur was healed, but it still hurts, today, in August 2018. So here I am, age 36, which something very like an old jousting wound that acts up from time to time. I feel way too young for this to be happening.

And when I go to the doctor after they've said it's healed and I tell them it still hurts, I am fully aware in that moment of how crazy I sound. Of how I am fulfilling a preconceived notion they might have of a woman who complains about things hurting, that they can choose to brush off. But I don't know what else to say. It still hurts! I have cobbled together some partial Street-O seasons throughout this period but it is frustrating to not be able to run as much, or as fast, or as far as I am capable of, simply because my leg hurts a lot, still, after almost two years.

It's to the point where I've started to focus more on cycling to get my exercise in. This was advice that a friend gave me a year ago and I've really embraced it. There is great fun to be had cycling around Turku and I've taught myself to suppress sadness at not being able to run, and just enjoy the feeling of cycling and exploring this beautiful part of the world. On Saturday, I rode for more than 50km and came across three beautiful old countryside churches, plus a medieval estate that looked like something out of Pride and Prejudice (but older, and Finnish). I was able to ride much farther than I would have been able to run, and see so much more of the countryside.

I hope all this cycling keeps me in good enough shape to go through a complete Street-O season starting in November. And I hope that my old jousting wound doesn't act up!

Nostalgic Helsinki

Nostalgic Helsinki

August 17th, outsourced