April 2019 books

Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive by Stephanie Land
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is one of those memoirs that airlifts you to another time/place/set of circumstances so thoroughly that every time you come up for air you are surprised to find yourself in your own life and not the author's. I was surprised at how this book informed me even as it resonated with me - one moment I was learning about the intricacies of arranging housing for when you find yourself homeless, and another moment I was nodding my head in recognition of how hard it is to be a parent, especially when you're low on temporal or emotional reserves.

And her descriptions of poverty were so vivid. Hers was real, grinding poverty where one unexpected trip to the doctor or car repair could render her homeless in the blink of an eye. All the platitudes people tend to spout when talking about people like her - "oh, just don't buy junk food. stock up when things are on sale. save money each month for a rainy day." - that's not how any of this works. I mean, when she got an unexpected $10 windfall and decided to take her daughter to get a Happy Meal at McDonald's, I was FILLED with joy on her behalf.

I am sure that in writing this book, Land has opened herself up to considerable judgment from others - it's easy to be comfortably reading and decide that her choices weren't valid, or that certain things were her fault. I know there are decisions she made that I disagreed with! But the beauty of this book was that it filled me with empathy for her and others like her, and drew connections between the hardships of her life and similar (if less extreme) things I've experienced in my own life.

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Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger by Rebecca Traister
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

3.5 stars. A lot of this book covers stuff I saw happen in real time on Twitter over the past couple of years. And it dwelled too long on Election 2016 stuff, which I am still mad about and I did not need a book to remind me of all the reasons why. But I learned a lot in these pages about relatively unknown (or misremembered) women over the years who have brought about societal changes, big and small, that I appreciate and benefit from. If there is a major takeaway for me from this book, it was learning more about intersectionality - it's not its own chapter or anything but it's present in many of these women's stories.

(Edited to add: I see the cover here has tiny f-bombs all over it! I just went and checked my copy that I got from the library here and it does NOT have those. Interesting!)

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Homes: A Refugee Story by Abu Bakr al Rabeeah
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

An extremely accessible first-hand view of the war in Syria. I liked how narrow the view was and how easily mundane details dominated the story. This is one child's experience and he talks about the video games he played, friends he hung out with, and the way he alternately longed to go to school but still occasionally skipped it once things calmed down and he could go back. In the fringes of this book's story are the experiences of the author's parents, who have Been Through Some Stuff. The author as a child talks about moving during the civil war and from his perspective he misses friends and their nicer neighborhood or yard. But I can only imagine what the parents had to deal with: all the logistics of packing, avoiding checkpoints, securing a lease in the new town under doubly unfavorable circumstances (Iraqi + internally displaced), looking for/failing to find work, trying to weigh the pros and cons of moving again, etc. It makes my head swim and it was interesting in this book to be at once reading the story on the page in front of me as well as the story told in the details that are left out.

After they arrive in Canada, Abu Bakr writes the following and it struck me as such an interesting description of how it can be hard to be a refugee even/especially after you reach safety:

"Back in Homs in our cramped apartment, there were ten of us in three bedrooms. Living at such close quarters, we shared space and stories. Here in Edmonton, we were basically paired off into five much smaller bedrooms and with more doors, it was easy to close ourselves off. Talking about the darkness didn't bring any light, so we pushed it down in our own ways. It was a relief to be in a place free of the shabiha and snipers, but none of us had ever imagined the solitude we would face. We had traded the raucous, tearing war for a suffocating, quiet safety. No one could tell which was better, which was worse. It was both and neither."

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All Over But the Shoutin' by Rick Bragg
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I couldn't put this book down for the first half. The second half was slightly less riveting but this is still the closest, next-best memoir to Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight: An African Childhood that I've ever read.

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